Seriously people, if you are going to pass yourself off as a “professional writer”, get a professional writer to proofread your copy before you post it.

Beloved Father, Husband, Sharkhunter, Spaceman

I
must confess that I’m saddened by the news of Roy Scheider’s passing,
but frankly I am shocked that he lived to the age of seventy-five. That
Roy was able to lead such a long and fruitful life, despite his
reckless nature and devil-may-care attitude, is a tribute to the man’s
strength and more likely, his luck. The way Roy Scheider lived on or
near the edge, I am truly amazed that he didn’t get himself killed
years ago.

While you had to admire Roy’s heroism and bravery, you have to agree
that he had no business hunting for great white sharks in the Atlantic
ocean, despite the risk to the good people of Amity. He was damned
lucky that the first shark blew up, and what was he thinking using
himself as sharkbait trying to get a second great white shark to chomp
down on some electrified cables?!!! Roy, seriously, you should’ve been
lunch on at least two occasions.

Powered by ScribeFire.

HOLLYWOOD– Depressed, suicidal, and anxiety-ridden nerds, geeks, and dweebs may have re-discovered their desire to live, at least for the moment, following the announcement that Peter Jackson will return to direct New Line Cinema’s two new Lord Of The Rings movies. These prequels, based on the original book “The Hobbit”, are expected to go into production in 2009.

Read This On The Toque

World’s Worst Halloween Costumes

What were your parents thinking when picked out this costume for you? They did pick it didn’t they?

Well, if you’re used to being shit on, I guess Potty
Pete is the perfect costume for you. Yes, the girls are really going to
love you at the Hallowe’en party…because they won’t have to wait in
line for the bathroom.

Every time you sit down, someone’s going to try to
piss down the front of you. And look, you’ve got an extra roll of “TP”
to help people with their paperwork.

Yes sir, you will be the Porcelain King! And your
drunken subjects will be kneeling before you and your throne.
Congratulations, Toilet Man.

Check out more of Biting Satire’s worst Halloween costumes

I thought maybe that there had been a misprint, but after seeing the same printer at the advertised location, the ink cartridge prices were more expensive than the printer. The salesperson came up with some excuse that the printer was a lost-leader promotion. My thoughts were that they were giving away these printers so that they could sell more ink.

The printer was a Lexmark, which has great print quality, but if they’re going to be selling printers for less than the ink, then don’t you think people will just buy the printers and then throw them away when the ink runs out?

It’s like these printers have become the Bic pens of the modern age. Instead of having to buy expensive ink refills for your retractable pen, you just now throw them away.

I guess I’ll never understand industries that require you to buy of an item to make that item work, like a Swiffer with its “replaceable” cloths. Like the packaging that always says “batteries not included”, soon the inkjet printer sellers might think that the ink cartridges might be something you’ll have to buy separately just to get the printer to print.

No one knows when the Internet will fail. It could happen at any time, leaving you bereft of your e-mail, your sports scores, and your Blogs. Therefore, it’s important that you and your family have a contingency plan for just such an emergency. If your connection to Cyberspace were to ever get severed, you should at least be prepared. We have included a few key points that should assist you if that were to happen.

1. Panic!
An excited, agitated state will give you that heightened sense of awareness and will increase your thought processes allowing you to come up with rational solutions. Panic is just nature’s way of putting your body into over-drive. It’s a defense mechanism that gives you an edge when dealing with potentially harmful situations, such as a severed arm or the loss of your Internet.

Find out everything you need to know here in case the Internet goes down

Google Search and Rescue is the next progression in online search technology.